Every new parent dreams of having one of those (sadly mythical) newborns who sleep through the night within a matter of days, but we are not among them. Owen provides all sorts of entertainment in the wee small hours of the morning, my favorite trick being the one where he needs to be changed 15 minutes after we finally have fallen back to sleep, and as we’re changing him he takes a leak on himself (or on the closet door, which is a good 3 feet away), or forcefully dispenses mustard-poo onto the changing table, which is usually followed closely by him yakking used milk onto said table. A few times I have almost fallen onto the floor laughing in the middle of the night, astounded at my son’s excretory prowess.
It is all too easy for me to begin to think of myself as autonomous when I have everything I need. It is easy for me to begin to think of myself as my own ultimate provider; that I am self-sufficient. It is easy to begin to play lip-service to God, only half-heartedly thanking him for “providing this meal” because I am too cognizant of the fact that I paid for it and my wife prepared it, when in reality God provides my income and my ability to earn it. And He provided Leslie with everything she needed to prepare the food, including an able mind, body, and servant heart.
But when something I need (like sleep) is temporarily removed, my thanksgiving can become authentic again because I fully realize that “In Him we live and move and have our being” (Acts 17:28), and that “He upholds the universe [including my frail, dependent body] by the word of His power” (Heb. 1:3).
I give thanks to God that He has made me utterly dependent on him, and that He is utterly dependable. I thank Owen for reminding me of that.